My Boy With The Bread
by Petitecailin
Summary: My version of the time between Katniss and Peeta return to District 12, to their children. Their love story struck me and I hated how SC left out how they rekindled their love. This is how I imagined things went down. Enjoy. **DISCLAIMER** I did not create these characters, or their original story. That belongs to Suzanne Collins.
1. Chapter 1

_**Katniss**_

I stared blankly as he cut up the bread into slices. I watched how his large hands guided the knife so gracefully over the bread, coating each slice with butter. I didn't look him in the eye as he left the plate with two slices in front of me and left with a _click_ of the shutting door. The silence was deafening. I had become a shell of my former self. Looking around my kitchen, I was ashamed. My mother's healing herbs were long dead and withered in their mason jars, my father's jacket lay battered on the floor. I hadn't the will to even pick it up, my favourite piece of clothing. I heard a glass fall and land with a crash on the floor. Turning, I saw the culprit and turned away in disgust, my stomach twisting while my heart ached. It was Buttercup – her cat. _Prim_. I closed my eyes and willed away the images of my burning sister, my failed attempts at saving her. I was a useless sister. I had tried everything to keep her safe, not allowed her to get tessare, volunteered for her when she was picked in the reaping, fed her with game I had hunted but it was all for nothing. I felt vile just remembering how many times I had left her in Gale's trusting hands, believing he would keep her safe but he didn't. He killed her. Gale Hawthorne had killed my sister, and I hated him for it.

After a few hours of crying, I eventually forced myself to get up, picking up and putting on my father's leather jacket. It instantly made me feel safe, I could still smell the faint smell of the woods. I spotted my bow and quiver sitting by the foot of the stairs and knew where I wanted to be. Putting on my boots and grabbing my bow and quiver, I walked out the door. With a quick pause I altered my course and rapped on the door of the next house. He answered momentarily.

"Will you come to the woods with me?" I asked in a rush.

"Of course," was his quick reply and, grabbing a coat, we left. I knew bringing him wasn't the best idea considering how loud he was and scared off all the animals, but I wanted him there with me. His presence made me feel… Well, it made me feel. And feeling something was better than feeling nothing at all.

Our journey to the woods was quick, we walked briskly through the regrowing meadow, being careful to not look down when we felt and heard the familiar crunch of skulls and bones. Once in the woods, I felt free. Somewhat elevated. He sat and watched as I refamiliarised myself with the woods. I could feel his stares and eventually looked up to meet his gaze. His look of awe made me blush.

"Such beauty," he whispered. My heart tinged. How I longed for his touch, I craved it so. Yet, I was constantly reminded that it was my fault he gripped the side of his seat so hard his knuckles went white, my fault he flew into angry rages, my fault he could suddenly lose his grip on reality, my fault his entire family were dead. The look in his eyes now, however, did not look as a man who blamed me for such things. They looked confused almost, but I knew deep within there was love, or at least lust. I knew what my eyes showed.

_**Peeta**_

She didn't know how beautiful she looked wandering around the forest. Finally she looked at ease and I relaxed knowing, for now, she wasn't suffering. I watched as she caressed the bark of an Oak tree, kneeled and sniffed a bush and smiled when she figured out what it was, listened to the sound of the birds and the flowing river beyond. She was amazing. God, how much I loved her. She didn't even know the full extent. I didn't realise I was gawking at her with my mouth open until she turned to me and blushed. The way her cheeks flushed pink made my heart squeeze. "Such beauty", I had whispered and had almost regretted the decision until she smiled her beautiful smile. I would never understand how I could feel such love for one person. Looking into her eyes now, I could see she was thinking hard, but there was a look I couldn't remember seeing before. Maybe once but the image was too blurred, too shiny for me to believe it was real. I looked away and saw the moss covered trunk turn to one in the first arena where I was hiding from her as she hunted to kill me. I felt fear, I felt anger. She saw me, I was in her target rage. I saw her lift the arrow and shoot it straight at me. I forced my eyes open to see her kneeing beside me, her hand was rubbing my arm soothingly, knowing this occurred regularly. Once she realised I was present, she dropped my arm and walked away, not looking back once. I hated how I did that, I knew she blamed herself for this but I didn't, I knew she didn't do this to me. He did. Snow and his Capitol minions.

_**Katniss**_

I walked back to my house alone, he had left shortly after his vision. I couldn't stand how he looked at me every time he opened his eyes after his visions. It was such a look of hatred, I could see the pure venom in his eyes and it tore me to piece. Yet, I knew I could never stay fully away. I was too selfish for that because I knew, no matter how many times he screamed I was a killer, no matter how many times he looked at me that way, I knew I loved him and I needed him more than he needed me. I needed Peeta Mellark.

So when I arrived at the Victor's Village, I walked straight to his front door, knocked and waited for his answer. Not wanting to think too much what I was about to do. He opened it cautiously, unsure of what I was about to say or do. All I needed to see was that look of love when he seen it was me and I was gone. I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and loving the feeling of his arm's wrapped around my waist. He lifted me off the ground slightly and laughed. I laughed too, the first time in too long, it felt good. He set me back on my feet and looked me in the eye for a long time. I could feel his every presence, his strong chest still pressed to mine, his fingers grazing my arms raising goose bumps. I just couldn't take it anymore, standing on my tippy toes, I pulled his face to me and melted as his lips finally met mine. I went numb. The feeling of his lips was electric, such soft lips that kissed with such passion I felt we would go on fire. I put all my guilt, fear, anger and love into that kiss and he responded with such emotion I felt I would explode. When the kiss broke, we both stood there attempting to regain our breath and stared into the others' eyes. He took my hand and kissed it ever so gently and held it close to his heart.

"Stay with me tonight", I breathed.

"Always."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Katniss**_

I was awake, I knew I was awake but my eyes remained closed. My head gently rose and fell with every breath Peeta took. My breathing matched his perfectly. With each inhalation, I smelled his familiar and intoxicating smell – like freshly baked bread mixed with that fresh smell from a summer shower. My thoughts lingered on the thoughts of Peeta's freshly baked bread, its warmth, texture, taste, I longed for a bite. My body understood what I was thinking and my stomach grumbled. I felt his body quiver, a chuckle from within.

"Hungry, are we?" He laughed.

I sighed and reluctantly opened my eyes, arching my back and stretching my arms forwards before collapsing back onto his strong chest. A slight moan crept its way to the back of my throat as I buried my face into his side and snuggled in once more, unwillingly to accept it was time to arise. My stomach grumbled again, not giving in and insisting I get up and eat. Peeta rose this time, letting me fall into a heap on the bed. I didn't want to leave our little warm nest. I peered out from underneath my hair as he pulled on a shirt. The sun gleamed off his blonde hair and made his eyes glitter like pools of water in the summer sun. His forehead was creased as if he was seriously concentrating on something important. I smiled, the scowl looked so out of place on his normally smiling face, like it didn't belong, but was funny to witness.

"Come on lazy," he said, tickling me out of my comfortable position, "Go have a shower, I'll make some eggs."

I never showered so fast before in my life. Peeta's eggs were amazing, and I was truly hungry, for once. My heart did a little twinge but I put it to the back of my mind. I was determined I wouldn't let my grief overcome me anymore. I had wasted too much time concentrating on things that were completely out of my control and I wasn't doing it to myself anymore. I couldn't. I couldn't make Prim come back from the dead, I couldn't have stopped v Gale from creating that damned idea, I couldn't save those children, I couldn't make my mother come home. I couldn't do any of those things, but I could move on with my life here. Peeta was my life now, I may not be his, but, as mine, he is all I would dwell on. However, the thoughts and guilt still haunted me. I needed to think of a way to rid them, and I knew exactly what I was going to do.

_**Peeta**_

My fingers twisted and played with her beautiful brown hair all morning. I was ever so careful not to wake her, I knew this was the best she had slept in such a long time. Her beauty was astounding. Her eyes were closed and framed by big eyebrows that were relaxed for once and not in their usual furrow of pain and concentration. Her lashes were so long and brushed gently off her cheeks. I noted how the end of each lash was blonde in colour, as if they had been faded out. Her lips were a rosy pink and plumped, a quality most girls would envy. My heart swelled it almost hurt, I was so selfish for being in love with her. I had caused her so much pain. It was my fault she helped me in that first arena and chose to defy the Capitol and take those Nightlock berries with me. If it weren't for me, none of this would have happened and she would have been able to live here in 12 with her mother, sister and Gale. The thought of Katniss with Gale made me so jealous but I knew he would have made her happier than I could. Here she was, a broken girl in such pain, and she believed that she needed me. No, I was selfish and I needed her.

I was vaguely aware that she was awake but she was choosing to ignore this, as was I. Her stomach grumbled and I couldn't help but chuckle. The sound was so out of place for a girl who refused to eat anymore.

"Hungry, are we?" I said through laughs. She made a big point of not wanting to get up and I was much happy to oblige. However, her stomach had other ideas as it protested again. I laughed once more, and rose to the persistent empty stomach wanting to be fed. I could feel her eyes on me as I put on my discarded shirt, my mind was on breakfast though. I wanted her to eat so I knew I had to think of something special. Finally, it hit me. Eggs! The girl would bend over backwards for a good batch of eggs. With my plan on my mind, I turned to the beauty sprawled across the bed and tickled her, knowing she couldn't resist moving when being tickled.

"Come on lazy! You have a shower, I'll make eggs," and with that, I turned on my heels and left for the kitchen, praying she would follow.

My prayers were answered when I heard the hum of the shower when I had barely opened the cupboard door. I smiled, knowing my eggs had worked. But inside I worried about whether the girl who would come downstairs and greet me later would be one of sorrow or one of happiness. I hoped for the latter.

_**Katniss**_

My stomach protruded underneath my flowing green top. I knew I must have eaten enough food for ten people, but Peeta's food was so good, I couldn't stop. All through breakfast he had watched me with cautious eyes. I knew what he was thinking. He thought it would only be a matter of time before I would slip back into my former shell of myself. I refused to let that happen. Even now, he kept glancing back at me from the kitchen sink. Slowly, I rose and crept over to him without making a noise. I slipped my hands around his waist and took pride when he jumped at my touch. He hadn't heard me move! I lay my head against his back and melted into him.

"Can you help me with something?" I asked as he turned to face me.

"Anything," his eyes were still cautious, nervous as to what I was about to ask. I took his hand and lead him to my mothers' old room. In there, I took a box, some pictures and some parchment. He followed me, even my cautiously, into Prim's room where I took little memories – a picture frame with the two of us, a picture of my mother and father, a necklace I had once given her, a lock of her hair mom had cut off her as a baby. I left the room, shutting the door behind us, and brought Peeta back to the kitchen where I explained what I wanted to do. He listened carefully as I explained I wanted to have a funeral for Prim, a chance to say my last goodbye. I wanted him to decorate the box into something she would have liked. In that box, I placed all the memoirs I took from her room. However, it didn't feel like it was enough. Burying the box with her stuff, finally gave my mind closure so I knew I couldn't get her back. It didn't ease my guilt. So, I wrote her a letter pouring my heart out to her, saying I was sorry I couldn't save her and for all I didn't do. Peeta wrote her a letter to, he didn't want me to see it and I didn't want to pry. Together, we placed our letters in the box and sealed it. Together we dug a hole underneath her bush and buried the box. Together we healed.

_**Peeta**_

I was waiting for her to change, to return to that girl that looked so broken I just wanted to lock away so no more could be done. But she didn't. All morning I watched her eat, and eat, and eat. All morning I waited. I didn't want to take my eyes off her for fear she would eventually crack and go back to that shell self. I took a risk and turned my back to her to wash the few dishes and my heart skipped a beat when I felt her arms around my waist. I held my breath hoping she was still Katniss, my every sense was heightened. I relaxed immensely when I felt her head on my back, I enjoyed the embrace yet I was still worried something may be behind it. My fears were confirmed with the words "Can you help me with something?" No Katniss, I will not look after Buttercup and Haymitch because you are staying right here with me. I turned anyway, curious as to what she needed me for. I was the one who needed her remember?

I watched intently as she picked up random objects from her mothers' and Prims' rooms respectively. To me, these things were only random objects but I knew they meant so much more to Katniss. I watched as she closed the door to Prim's room and paused there momentarily with her eyes closed before moving back down to the kitchen. She sat opposite me at the kitchen table and explained her idea of having a funeral for Prim for closure. I was incredibly proud that she had decided this herself, if not still a little worried that this could set her back again. Her enthusiasm was to overpowering though, so I agreed to help paint the box into something special for Prim.

I sat back, proudly, and admired my work on Prim's box. Delicate yellow primroses twisted and intertwined all around the box with the vines occasionally swirling into words such as _"Prim", "Hope", "Love", _and _"Family"._ I sent a silent voice to Prim, hoping she liked my work. Katniss loved it and placed all her pieces within. She explained how her mother refused to cut Prims hair as a child, not wanting to throw away any of the golden locks. Her father had taken a scissors and cut the only curl on Prim's head and placed it in the silver box. Her mother had been furious but became fond of the locket in the trinket box. She also explained why Prim always kept a picture of her father close by. One night, Prim had come to Katniss – before the Games – she had been crying. When asked why, Prim had said she no longer remembered what her father looked like. Katniss had given her the photograph. It was lovely listening to Katniss talking about her sister again with all the love she had before. I continued to see small glimpses of pain flash across her eyes yet, not once, did she falter. I fell deeper in love with her that evening – if that was even possible.

We sat beside Prims' makeshift grave for a while after that, just enjoying the peace and silence for once. Katniss lay her head on my shoulder and, automatically, my arm wove around her shoulders pulling her closer. I turned my head towards her hair and breathed in that amazing scent of nature that always flowed around her. She pulled her head away from mine after a time and looked up at me. I looked into those grey eyes, loosing myself within them. Her head leaned forward, her lips slightly pursed. I accepted them with mine. They were such soft lips, tasting slightly of strawberries and cherries. She blew my mind and she didn't even know it. I broke away from the kiss breathless but wanting more. I always craved more with the girl on fire.

_**Katniss**_

I felt light, better, happy. Three words I wouldn't have used to describe myself previously. Prim's funeral had gone amazingly. She was gone forever but I still had a little piece of her with me that I could go visit whenever I felt overwhelming pain again. Sadness and guilt still lingered there somewhere deep as it always would. It wouldn't ever consume me again though, I was sure of that! I was lying in bed with Peeta. His fingers were playing with my hair, twirling strands and letting them loose. His breathing was steady, I matched mine to it taking deep breaths along with his. My fingers circled the buttons on his shirt, their smoothness was a somewhat comforting feeling. Even though his breathing remained steady, I could feel Peeta's heart pick up pace. I looked up and saw his face was angled towards the ceiling. Immediately I suspected there was something there, a Capitol camera or something along those lines. He didn't have a look of fear though, just a look of concentration. I relaxed, my heart returning to its normal rhythm, and continued to watch my boy with the bread.

He seemed to be debating something huge within as he continuously shook his head and murmured "No" and sometimes he whispered things like "I wish" and "maybe". Whatever he was thinking, I wish he would let me help him figure it out.

After what seemed like an eternity, Peeta turned to face me. He eyes locked on mine and held my gaze, I couldn't look away. He seemed to be reaching within my soul, searching for something he wished he would find in there. His eyebrows furrowed in despair making me reach my hand out to caress his face. He closed his eyes at my touch and sighed, turning his head towards my palm and kissing it ever so gently. He was in pain and I didn't know why but I knew it was hurting me to see him like this. I sat forwards and placed my lips on his forehead, holding his head between my hands. I pulled away and looked into his eyes once more, the pain was even more intense. Whatever was paining him, I was doing it. I knew my eyes were showing that of confusion because he couldn't bear to answer them so he shut his own. I wanted to pull away for being mortified at rejection, I forced myself to stay wanting to fix whatever I had caused. His head was still in my hands and I let my thumbs caress and trace his bottom lip. I placed my forehead to his and, closely my eyes, willed his pain to go. Just when I had rid myself of my own anguish, Peeta had been overcome by his. Why was fate never going to just leave us alone? _Leave Peeta alone! _I screamed within.

When I opened my eyes, I saw his staring back at me. Those blue eyes was magical, deeps, exotic, like an unexplored ocean, there was so much left to discover. His breathing was shallow and quick, he couldn't keep my gaze. He was nervous. I placed my hand on his chest, over his heart and stared at his face. I waited until he had calmed and eventually looked at my face. His eyes locked on mine. I knew he had something to say and, though, I feared what it would be, I held his gaze and let him know he could say whatever he wanted to me and I would still love him. After a very long time he looked down in sorrow, took my hand from his chest and lay down with his back to me. I felt like that girl, back where she had begun.

_**Peeta**_

I couldn't do it, I was a coward. I couldn't even say one little thing to her. I was supposed to be in love with Katniss yet I couldn't even tell her how I felt. How could I be so afraid of rejection when all she did before the Games was ignore me and, after the games, reject me. Yet, here I was, afraid of rejection, pathetic! I knew she was awake beside me but was pretending to be asleep as I was. I was so ashamed, what must she think of me now? I couldn't bear to look at her after I saw the look of betrayal in her eyes. I had never seen that look before and I didn't want to again, I didn't like it.

What was I doing? Why was I ignoring her, she should be the one ignoring me. So, eventually, I sucked up the courage and turned back towards her and placed my arm, gingerly, around her. She was laying on her back with her face directly towards the ceiling. I couldn't tell if her eyes were opened or closed. I felt her body stiffen when I put my arm around her so I knew she must be awake. She began to stir and, for one brief moment, I believed she would push my arm away and turn with her back to me. I felt her fingers interlock with mine, she kissed my hand and then turned to face me, our noses touching.

"I missed you," she breathed.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk." I wished I could have come up with something better but it was all I could think of.

She chuckled and kissed my nose which I took to be forgiven. _"Just say it!"_ My whole being screamed. I opened my mouth to say it but I froze and I knew I couldn't. I couldn't face full blown rejection again, my heart was too fragile. I was too weak. So I opted for a different approach, a less scary one but still scary nonetheless. I closed my eyes and sighed, my heart racing under my shirt. I drew a deep breath and opened my eyes, she was looking directly into mine. She had so much compassion, fear and guilt in her eyes that I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"You love me. Real or not real?" I asked, using our old game from my _hijacking_.

She exhaled heavily and closed her eyes. I braced myself for the rejection I was sure was about the come. She eventually opened her eyes and smiled.

"Real."


End file.
